Channeling My Inner Vulcan: How I Confronted Emotional Extremes and Found Balance Through Meditation
Living amongst irrational earthlings
For those of you that don’t know: I am an avid Star Trek fan. I am such a fan that I am loyal to the franchise. Please don’t talk to me about Star Wars or other Science Fiction, because I am usually not interested.
Anyway, In the Star Trek Universe, Vulcans have learned to to be completely logical and tame emotions. The problem is, they still do have strong emotions.
I feel emotions very strongly and I have been told that (for a male) I am in touch with them pretty well.
Until I am NOT
When something dramatic or dangerous happens I am stoic and emotionless. So much so that I need to pretend to feel so that I don’t upset those around me.
I was once called a sociopath in counseling because of my apparent lack of feeling.
yes, that’s how bad it is.
I’ve been doing work and I honestly thought I was Light-Years from where I was before.
Then something happened
Something fairly dramatic in my life just happened (I’m still working on it-I may tell you in the future)
I just slipped back into my old ways. I know that’s my defense mechanism.
I know this is unhealthy.
That night I tried to clear my thoughts and use my technique to try to get back to being myself, I wasn’t in the mood for anything. I just went to sleep.
The next morning I woke up and my body was sore. I felt pressure on my neck and It was hard to look up and to the left. I made a mental note to stop by one of my chiropractic friends’ office after work that day.
I felt disconnected and a bit “hung-over-like”
The day sucked. I didn’t feel good and I’m re-living the events over and over in my head. I knew I wasn’t giving my patients 100% of me, but I couldn’t.
After the day was done, headed home. Didn’t want to meet my buddy to get adjusted, because he might actually want to ask me what happened and I was not ready to talk to anyone about my feelings.
I got home and I knew I had to deal with this I laid down and tried to get into a meditative stage by breathing and clearing my mind. I can usually go pretty deep fairly easily because I’ve been doing this a while.
The feelings that came up were confusion, anger and rejection.
So in my meditative state I went in and tried to remain in each of those states until I felt them dissipate.
It was a marathon session. ALMOST THREE HOURS!
I was doing deep stuff. The mind doesn’t like to be uncomfortable, so if you think about uncomfortable things it will try to distract you and send you down different paths. I stayed on it until I didn’t feel resistance anymore.
After I was done, I got up and my body felt looser and softer, and didn’t have the tight feeling in my chest anymore.
This was as my fellow chiropractors would say: “A subluxation above C1”
I would say that MOST of the issues that I see in my practice are these. I would say if we took the time to work through our issues, we would all be healthier and happier.
Love you all*,
-Dan
*except the guy that will threaten me with violence every time he gets one of these
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